"We’re all performers in the same algorithmic arena": Amanza Smith’s emotional open letter after the Selling Sunset reunion

After the dramatic Selling Sunset Season 9 reunion aired, Amanza Smith broke her silence in a raw, reflective open letter titled “Before You Judge the Edit…”, published on November 5, 2025.

She addressed the intense online criticism that followed the episode, opened up about her experience on the Netflix reality hit, and spoke candidly about empathy, identity, and life behind the glossy drama of Selling Sunset.

One of the most widely shared parts of Amanza’s letter came when she called out the toxic cycle of reality TV outrage and social media judgment. 

“We’re all performers in the same algorithmic arena, pretending we’re not part of the show.”

Amanza described the contradiction of craving authenticity while rewarding chaos, adding, 

“We preach kindness but double-tap cruelty. We cancel, then binge. We build people up just to watch how fast they fall.”

Selling Sunset: Amanza Smith reflects on backlash and empathy

Amanza began her letter by acknowledging the emotional toll of the reunion fallout and the waves of online reaction that came with it.

“I have read the DMs, seen the memes and survived the reunion (just about!),” she wrote.

Admitting she had “half-written statements” in her Notes app and sent “voice notes to [her] manager, completely losing it.”

The Selling Sunset star said she understood that “reality TV and controversy work hand in hand,” but believed that something essential was missing.

“Somewhere between entertainment and empathy, something got lost, and that’s what I want to talk about,” she wrote.

Amanza’s post blended humor with self-awareness. 

“Let’s start with the easy joke…Apparently, I don’t sell houses. Fair. Savage but fair, what I do sell without a shadow of doubt is my staging, art, ideas, and occasionally my sanity on camera.”

She credited Selling Sunset with transforming her life, writing that the show gave her “a career, a community, and a platform I never expected.”

Reflecting on her personal journey, she added, 

“It taught me that you can rebuild in your forties, that tears on Netflix can turn into art in a gallery, and that single mothers are basically Navy SEALs with better mascara.”

Addressing the “Girls Giving” controversy

A key portion of Amanza’s letter focused on the heated “Girls Giving” dinner featured in Selling Sunset Season 9 — a moment that stirred major backlash online.

She clarified her intent behind the conversation that sparked tension, writing, 

“My intention was never to shame anyone. It was to remove the shame from something too many people hide.”

She directly responded to one specific claim, stating, 

“If the question is, have I ever seen this person use cocaine, the answer is no. However, if the question were to be phrased differently, my answer may be different too.”

She admitted the situation “may have got mixed up,” but emphasized that her comments came from a place of honesty, not judgment.

Describing how it felt to relive the reunion episode, she wrote, 

“I looked like I was holding back tears while trying not to sweat through couture. The tension in that room could’ve powered Los Angeles for a week.”

Amanza on identity and perspective

Toward the end of her post, Amanza addressed accusations about race and identity that surfaced following the reunion. 

“Now let me make one thing crystal clear, my Blackness is not up for debate,” she wrote. “I’m a mixed-race woman from Indiana. My dad is black, my mom is white. I’ve watched the Ku Klux Klan march down my hometown streets while people cheered.”

She continued, “When someone tries to attach my name to racism, it’s not just wrong, it’s cruel. Racism is disgusting, it is exhausting & I do not condone it. Full stop.”

Amanza concluded her letter with a broader message on compassion, urging viewers to remember the humanity behind reality TV edits. She wrote, 

“Outrage performs; empathy repairs. Accountability without compassion is just drama with better lighting,” 

“Maybe next season I’ll even sell a house.”

In closing, Amanza addressed her female audience directly, reminding them that the women of Selling Sunset are “daughters, mothers, friends, hustlers, messes, miracles.”

She promised to “keep showing up, learning, laughing and occasionally oversharing,” before adding playfully, 

“Maybe next season I’ll even sell a house. Maybe not. Either way, I’m still building something that matters.”

Her final lines were written to her children, Noah and Braker Brown. 

“You see the questions, the looks, and you read the comments. I know it can’t be easy. I wake up every day trying to do my best for you,” she wrote, adding, “People see the edit, but you both know the woman…the one who laughs too loud, paints too late and never gives up.”

Amanza ended her letter with a simple signature: Amanza x.

Stay tuned for more updates.