On Wednesday night, Jimmy Kimmel took aim at the "five-star nonsense" that has taken hold in the Senate, which voted against codifying the right to an abortion into federal law earlier in the afternoon. Though Kimmel was disappointed that Sen. Manchin (D-West Virginia) "voted with his fellow Republicans" against the Women's Health Protection Act, he found a silver lining in Sen. Steve Daines' (R-Montana) lengthy, prop-assisted argument about abortion being the equivalent of killing "a preborn baby sea turtle or a preborn baby eagle."
"Now I have some visual aids to explain just how dumb that was," said Kimmel, as he brought out a puppet of a sea turtle and began speaking in its voice. "I can't believe I need to say this, but we aren't human beings."
As Guillermo held up a photo of Mitch McConnell, the turtle continued, "Now, I know some of you might look like us, we are an endangered species. Humans are not. And if a mama sea turtle doesn't want to have a baby, there's no old white guy from Montana telling her she has to! She just lays her eggs in the sand and crawls away. And unlike people, mama sea turtles don't have to work to support their kids or feed them or drive them to school."
But Kimmel wasn't done quite yet. "But what about cases of rape?" asked an eagle puppet, perched upon his other hand. "Oh, eagle, you know that doesn't happen to eagles or turtles," replied the sea turtle, before asking if the eagle would "take a big poop on Steve Daines" the next time he's in Montana.
Jimmy Kimmel Live! airs weeknights at 11:35 PM ET on ABC.
Claire Spellberg Lustig is the TV Editor at Primetimer and a scholar of The View. Follow her on Twitter at @c_spellberg.