"Giant ocean of awfulness" - Aubrey Plaza opens up about life after husband Jeff Baena’s tragic death

Aubrey Plaza, the sardonic star of Parks and Recreation and The White Lotus, has always used humor as a shield of protection; her deadpan timing is an expert mode of deflection. But when she recently spoke on Amy Poehler's Good Hang Podcast in August 2025, she let the world see her raw emotions.

When speaking of the suicide of her husband Jeff Baena, she described her grief as being like a "giant ocean of awfulness", a powerfully poetic image that reveals the almost tidal force of loss. 

Jeff Baena was a giant in independent film, a writer and director whose keyboard has contributed to films like I Heart Huckabees (2004) and Joshy (2016). Most importantly, Baena created, with Plaza, a unique mark on cinema over the period of their relationship, from an artistic and a romantic point of view.

The couple, who secretly married 10 years after they met, produced creative work: Life After Beth (2014), a zombie rom-com with purpose; Cinema Toast (2021), an idiosyncratic anthology with narrative; and Spin Me Round (2022), a dark satire with their irreverent spirit. Their partnership was an exploration of mind, with each production being a love letter wrapping their vision into woven corners and sweet envelopes.

A shattering loss for Aubrey Plaza

In January 2025, Baena’s life ended at 47, leaving Plaza to navigate a world upended.

“I’m here and I’m functioning"

she told Poehler, her voice showing strength through sorrow. The loss was a fault line; it separated her life into before and after. 

Plaza's moment of grief takes on a figurative experience in The Gorge, a sci-fi thriller featuring Miles Teller and Anya Taylor-Joy, which she saw in summer 2022. The gorge in the film includes a load of horrible monsters that resonate with Plaza's chaotic self.

"It's like this huge ocean of misery, right there, and I can just see it. Sometimes I want to dive into it... Sometimes I'm trying to get as far away from it as I think I can. But, it's always there," she said.

Plaza’s resilience is a triumph over grief. She’s back at work, pouring herself into new projects, each one carrying Baena’s echo. Her gratitude for connection - seen in her warmth with Poehler - grounds her as she moves forward.

To Aubrey Plaza, the voice is incisive yet gentle. Her "giant ocean of awfulness" is not just a metaphor; it's a pathway to connection.

As she carries forward the spirit of Baena, she reminds us that grieving is not a finite process; it simply transforms. The bravery in sharing, in feeling and continuing to create stands as a firm affirmation of the messy, beautiful act of carrying on.