"I have only experienced Spongebob as a parent, and it's f*cking miserable," says Drew Magary. "Everyone on that show is screaming ALL THE F*CKING TIME. They open Spongebob with kids screaming the theme song and they don't let up until the bell. I put on the TV to get my own kids to stop making f*cking noise. Now I'm replacing it with some dipshit sponge shrieking like a dolphin throwing a fit at the Apple Store? This isn't an improvement. Then I turn the TV off and my youngest kid turns into a f*cking grenade. I hate Spongebob. I hope he dries out on land and his dead invertebrate body is used to scrub out the fryers at Long John Silver's."