"What’s three hours long, full of bad sex jokes and impossibly beautiful people in sparkly gowns?" asks The Washington Post. "No, it’s not the Golden Globes or the Academy Awards. It’s the premiere of The Bachelor, which stretched itself to an ungodly length Monday night. The pregame show lasted a full hour before we even arrived at the mansion, where Bachelor Colton Underwood, the first virgin Bachelor, would meet his 30 prospective suitors. Bachelor Nation alums Ashley Iaconetti and fiance Jared Haibon interviewed fans in Park City, Utah, who held signs proclaiming 'Utah Loves Virgins' and gushed about how much they love former Bachelor Ben Higgins. (He’s not a virgin, but he is quite wholesome.) A couple at their party got engaged ... In Dallas, former Bachelor contestant Alexis Waters and former Bachelorette Kaitlyn Bristowe joked about how dolphins are the only mammals (other than humans) that enjoy sex for pleasure (and of course made reference to Colton). Runners-up from Becca’s season, Blake Horstmann and Jason Tartick, chatted with superfans in Lansing, Michigan, where, yes another couple got engaged. Is The Bachelor trying to up their ratio of successful engagements by roping in civilians to propose? It sure seems that way. Whatever ABC was going for with the breathless watch parties, it was far too much."