“I felt like a homewrecker”: Billy Joel opens up about affair with bandmate's wife in new documentary, ‘Billy Joel: And So It Goes’
-
Billy Joel opens up about affair with bandmate in new documentary, ‘Billy Joel: And So It Goes’In the early years of his music path, Billy Joel faced a personal crisis that deeply touched his career and mental health. In those days, Billy Joel fell in love with the wife of his best friend and band mate. This led to the break up of his heavy metal band and the end of an important friendship.
This mess turned into a time of hard emotional pain for Joel, ending with a try to end his life. This time was a dark spot in Joel's life, showing how personal choices can deeply affect work ties and mental health.
Love, friendship, and fallout in Billy Joel's early years
In the first part of HBO's two-part show, Billy Joel: And So It Goes, the star looks back at a tough and mixed time from his early days. Now 76, Joel tells how his tie with Elizabeth Weber, started in hard and full of feeling days. Back then, Weber was Jon Small's wife. Small was Joel's best buddy and they played music together in their short-run rock duo, Attila. All three, plus Small and Weber's young kid, lived under one roof at that time.
The first part of Billy Joel: And So It Goes debuts on Friday, July 18, on HBO and will also be available for streaming on HBO Max. The second installment of the documentary is set to premiere the following week, on Friday, July 25.
The film looks back at the hard times Joel went through when he told Small he had feelings for Weber. This news messed up their lives and their work in music together. This part of Joel's story shows a lot of feelings. It shows how friendship, love, and big dreams were all mixed up when he was just starting out.
Billy Joel's love for Elizabeth Weber ended a band and a brotherhood
Joel said he started to see someone even though he knew it was hard. He felt very bad about it, especially because the person had a kid already. Having a child in the mix made things more tricky, and Joel felt like he might have messed up a family.
He talked about how he was torn inside, on one side, he really liked being with the person, but on the other, he felt bad for maybe helping to split a family apart. In his words:
"I fell in love, and we went into a relationship. I felt very, very guilty about it. They had a child, you know? I felt like a homewrecker."
In his documentary, Richard Small told about a time when Billy Joel let him know about a love that was growing between him and Elizabeth Weber. Small said Joel seemed sad and torn, feeling sorry about the hurt it would bring.
"He's crying, and he's telling me he feels so bad, he didn't know what to do about it. How does he break his best friend's heart?” Small said. 'But he said she was so powerful to him that it was worth it to lose our friendship for it.'"
He even said to Small that his tie to Weber was so strong, he would risk their bond for it. Joel later shared that his love for Weber clouded his thinking, which ended in a fight where Small hit him. This event led to the end of their band, Atilla, and paused Joel’s tight bond with Small for a while.
"I was just in love with a woman. And I got punched in the nose, which I deserved. Jon was very upset. I was very upset. And that was the end of Atilla. That was the end of my relationship with Jon for a while."
Weber reflects on a fading marriage and growing bond with Billy Joel in the documentary
In the film, Weber looked back on her old times with Small, noting from the start they didn't quite match. She pointed out that being young and not knowing much played big roles. As time went by, she felt more sad about where her life was going.
As their bond got tough, her tie with Joel got stronger bit by bit. She talked about her link with Joel as one that grew soft and easy, with a deep, silent get-it kind of feel between them. Small, for his part, saw how key Weber was in his life but said he could not be what she might have wanted him to be.
Read More: Why is CBS cancelling Stephen Colbert’s Late Night Show? Complete drama explained
Billy Joel opens up about his darkest days after Weber left
Not long into their time together, Joel remembered that Weber went away all of a sudden. This made him very sad. He had lost Elizabeth Small before, and now Weber’s departure made him feel even worse.
Joel went into a hard time, filled with too much drink and deep sadness. He didn't have a real home and spent nights in places meant for washing clothes. He felt like he was almost out of touch with the real world.
As his sadness got deeper, he started to think about if it was worth it to keep living. He felt that each new day was just the same as the last. He felt so sad that he wondered why he should go on. We can hear Joel saying:
"I had no place to live. I was sleeping in laundromats, and I was depressed, I think, to the point of almost being psychotic. So, I figured, That's it, I don't wanna live anymore. I was just in a lot of pain. It was sort of like, Why hang out? Tomorrow’s gonna be just like today is, and today sucks. So, I just thought I'd end it all."
Billy Joel's suicide attempts and the friend who saved his life
After Elizabeth Weber's departure, Billy Joel experienced a severe emotional breakdown, marked by heavy drinking and two suicide attempts. The former was a case of his overdose on sleep pills that his sister, Judy Molinari, had taken with prescriptions.
Retelling the story, Joel admitted he hadn’t thought about the bigger picture in that moment of desperation. The weight of what he had done hit him only after he woke up in the hospital.
He termed the unsuccessful effort as the shame of shame, a time of renewed despair, and it prompted him to make a second effort. The second time he took a whole bottle full of lemon-scented Pledge cleaning fluid.
Second time, he has been found by Jon Small, who took him to the hospital notwithstanding the strained relations between him and Joel due to his affair with Weber.
Later, Small recalled the unforgettable moment and he said that Joel thought that his life was finished whereas, in fact, it did not really start yet. He later saved Joel at a cost to himself that resulted in a deep personal relationship damaged between the two men. Small said:
"I finally got over it to where it was like, okay. He thought that it was over for him. And, to me, he didn’t even start living yet."
Billy Joel's hospital stay turned pain into purpose
After trying to take his life a few times, Joel checked himself into a hospital ward to get help for his depression. While he was there, he began to pull away from his own bad feelings, putting them down as less than what others faced. He often told the nurses he was okay, and they just gave him his meds without much fuss.
A few weeks later, Joel left the place, feeling shy and seeing things in a new light. Seeing how hard it was for others made him think over his own life and he promised himself not to fall that deep again. He said:
"I would go over to the nurses' station and knock and say, 'Hey, I'm okay. These people are crazy.' 'Okay, Mr. Joel. Here's your pills (they said).' They released me after a couple of weeks and I felt chagrined, these people had really deep psychiatric problems. I was just feeling sorry for myself. And I said, 'That's it. I'm not going to ever feel that sorry for myself again.'"
After he got out, he left fast and with a sure aim, like he was new again. More so, the time changed how he saw his feelings, not as heavy loads to hide, but as stuff he could turn into songs. The short stay in the watch place turned into a key part that moved his inner fights into making art.
How Elizabeth Weber's return changed Billy Joel's path
Billy Joel's relationship with Elizabeth Weber played a major role not only in his personal life but also in shaping the early stages of his music career. After they first broke up, they got back together about a year later. This was said to be because Weber heard a song Joel wrote about their past times.
He handed a tape of the song to Weber’s sister, which deeply moved Weber upon hearing it. Joel's sister, Judy Molinari, talked in the film later on about how those songs came from the hurt Joel felt when Weber left him, and how music was his way to let out that pain. Weber said she was really touched by the songs, amazed by Joel's skill to turn his deep feelings into strong music.
Their rekindled relationship led to marriage in 1973, with Weber also stepping in as his manager through the now-defunct Home Run Management. But, the marriage went on for less than 10 years, and they split in 1982. In the time after, Joel got married three more times, with his now wife being Alexis Roderick.
Keep reading PRIMETIMER for more informative content!
Also Read: “She’s the baby she adopted”: Internet reacts as Britney Spears claims to adopt baby girl
TOPICS: Billy Joel
- “I was so stunned that I froze” — Christie Brinkley reveals how she learned ex-husband Peter Cook was cheating on her
- The Boys boss says "I get that people are disappointed" after getting review-bombed over the weekly release schedule
- Rian Johnson: Forget a Billy Joel TV series -- how about a Billy Joel TV network?
- Billy Joel anthology TV series is in the works