"Yes, I also liked guys" — Barry Diller says his sexuality was not in conflict with his love for wife Diane von Fürstenberg
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Barry Diller and Diane von Fürstenberg (Photo: Everett Collection)Businessman and co-founder of Fox Broadcasting Company, Barry Diller, is addressing speculations surrounding his sexuality for the first time. On Tuesday, May 6, New York Magazine published an excerpt from Diller's upcoming memoir, Who Knew, which detailed his marriage to fashion designer Diane von Fürstenberg as well as his past relationships with men.
Addressing the rumors about his life, the businessman wrote:
"I’ve lived for decades reading about Diane and me: about us being best friends rather than lovers. We weren’t just friends. We aren’t just friends. Plain and simple, it was an explosion of passion that kept up for years."
He continued:
"And, yes, I also liked guys, but that was not a conflict with my love for Diane."
Diller first met von Furstenberg in 1974 when he was 33. They were in an on-and-off relationship until they separated in 1981. The pair reconciled in 1991 and dated for a decade before tying the knot in 2001. While they don't have kids together, the fashion designer is the mother to Prince Alexander and Tatiana with her first husband, Prince Egon von Fürstenberg.
Barry Diller asserted that he had only been interested in men until he met Diane von Fürstenberg
In his essay for New York Magazine (titled Barry & Diane: The Truth About Us, After All These Years), Barry Diller asserted that he had only been interested in men until he met Diane von Fürstenberg. He wrote:
"While there have been a good many men in my life, there has only ever been one woman, and she didn’t come into my life until I was 33 years old."
Diller revealed that von Fürstenberg was dismissive of him when they first met, but it was their second encounter (at a dinner party for a mutual friend) where he felt the "spark." He described it using the French idiom coup de foudre (literally translated in English to "lightning strike" and defined as love at first sight).
According to Barry Diller, soon after they had dinner at the fashion designer's home, which ended in them "making out like teenagers," something the businessman noted he hadn't done with a woman since he was 16. Diller explained that what always "amazed" him about the occasion was the "sheer excitement" he felt and the need to "simply exist in the moment."
Barry noted that his relationship with Diane encompassed "romantic love and deep respect," "companionship and world adventuring," and "disappointment and separation," and ended in "marriage." Reflecting on their five decades together, the businessman stated that it was something that "simply happened" to them, without any "motive or manipulation."
"In some cosmic way we were destined for each other," Barry Diller wrote.
Notably, the couple ended up separating in 1981 after von Furstenberg had an affair with actor Richard Gere, Diller wrote in his memoir.
Addressing the fanfare surrounding his sexuality and private life, elsewhere in the essay, Barry Diller wrote:
"I have never questioned my sexuality’s basic authority over my life (I was only afraid of the reaction of others). When my romance with Diane began, I never questioned that its biological imperative was as strong in its heterosexuality as its opposite had been. When it happened, my initial response was, 'Who knew?’"
The businessman detailed that his interest in men began in his 20s, but he lived under the fear of being outed. He noted that he started "compartmentalizing" to the point that it kept him from "having a fulfilling personal life." Highlight that "realistically," he knew that people were aware, but he refrained from making any "declarations." Stating that he was "too scared," Barry Diller wrote:
"So many of us at that time were in this exiled state, so stunted in the way we lived. I hated having to live a pretend life, one that was totally silent on all the topics normal people talked about with each other."
Despite that, Barry Diller asserted that he had vowed to "live with silence, but not with hypocrisy." He elaborated that while he never publicly came out, he never did "a single thing to make anyone believe (he) was living a heterosexual life."
Later in the essay, he explained that Europeans had a "wiser attitude" on sexual identities, writing:
"Sexual identities are much more fluid and natural, without all those rigidly defined lanes of the last century."
Barry Diller also wrote about feeling like a "deer caught in the headlights" as his romance with Diane began to bloom. The businessman elaborated that not having a "normal adolescence," he found it difficult to address the "wild" emotions or even begin to "articulate (his) feelings."
"Why was I so emotionally unprepared for intimacy?" Diller questioned.
However, he was sure that Diane was important, and that helped work around his "built-up self-protections."
Now, together and married for almost two and a half decades, Barry Diller wrote that their relationship was the "bedrock of (his) life."
Who Knew is set to release on May 20.
TOPICS: Barry Diller, Diane von Fürstenberg