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Joy Behar is officially on island time. No glass was safe Wednesday morning on The View as Behar stepped behind the bar and served drinks for the patrons of the Baha Mar Resort, the daytime show's home for the week. Once she had enough alcohol in her system, Baha Mar Behar even married two resort-goers — though Sunny Hostin was quick to note that it may not be legally binding.
The View has been airing pre-taped bits throughout the week, and this morning, it was Behar's time to shine. The episode opened with a (very obviously faked) clip of Behar going down the water slide to meet Ana Navarro and Sara Haines and emerging completely dry.
"That was exhilarating!" she says, wrapping a towel around her dry body. "Come on, ladies, the show is about to start!"
After discussing the passage of the gun legislation bill and objectifying Marvel star Simu Liu, who sat down at the table with his shirt unbuttoned, Behar revealed she had "a little adventure" at Marcus Samuelsson's restaurant yesterday. The show then cut to a pre-taped segment of Behar going in search of a drink, and ending up serving them herself.
While Behar insisted she's "not a bartender," she made a series of suspicious-looking drinks for guests, offering her unique commentary along the way. "Sex on the beach? That's what he's for, isn't it?" she told one couple, before warning a woman, "It's not exactly a mimosa, but look, I'm not exactly a bartender."
Once the bottles were emptied, The View host disposed of them in the most dangerous way possible: by chucking them to the side, where they shattered on the ground. By the end of the segment, Behar was standing in a large pool of glass, though she didn't seem bothered by the safety hazard.
The bit ended with a quasi-marriage ceremony, as Behar declared she's technically an officiant. The longtime co-host told the couple to look into each others' eyes and recited generic vows, adding, "I now pronounce you husband and wife."
A crowd of onlookers cheered as the two kissed, and Behar threw yet another bottle to the side. "Mazel tov!" she yelled.
But despite Baha Mar Behar's efforts, the legality of the wedding was called into question by Sunny Hostin, who offered both a written and verbal legal note.
"I don't think that was legally binding," said Hostin. "How dare you question my credentials!" joked Behar.
Moral of the story: Joy Behar is free to officiate your wedding, but unless you plan to spend the night sweeping up glass, keep her away from the bar.
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Claire Spellberg Lustig is the TV Editor at Primetimer and a scholar of The View. Follow her on Twitter at @c_spellberg.