"My needs were not being met": The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives' Jordan on the reason behind his shocking behavior with Jessi

The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives star Jordan Ngatikaura recently addressed accusations about him being “emotionally abusive” to his wife, Jessi, explaining that his explosive behavior was the outcome of feeling emotionally abandoned. 

In the November 26, 2025, episode of The Viall Files podcast, host Nick Viall asked Jordan to explain his attitude toward Jessi, something she claimed she had to experience before her affair with Vanderpump Villa’s Marciano Brunette was exposed. 

Jordan stated that they had “issues” before Jessi’s affair was brought to light, and at the time, he felt sidelined by Jessi. 

“It’s not an excuse, but during those times, it felt like my needs were not being met, and that’s the way I would come out. That’s the way I would show my Frank [his alter ego],” he said.

He continued: 

“I would get pissed off, and I would try to control because that was me screaming inside, like, ‘Hey, like, I wanna be treated like a partner, and you’re always busy doing all these other things and appeasing everyone but me.’”

In season 3 of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, viewers saw an explosive side of Jordan when Jessi admitted to having an affair with Marciano. After the season was out, Jessi told PEOPLE on November 13 that she shared a “toxic dynamic” with Jordan, accusing him of emotional abuse.

The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives’ Jordan Ngatikaura terms his behavior as a “cry for attention”

After season 3 premiered, Jordan's behavior with Jessi became a major topic of discussion, as viewers saw him lashing out at her and calling her names. 

Jessi, for her part, told media outlets that Jordan’s behavior was one of the reasons that caused her to have an affair with Marciano. While she took accountability for her own actions, she pointed out that Marciano treated her how she wanted to be treated. In contrast, Jordan spoke down to her and never appreciated her. 

When addressing those behavioral patterns on the podcast, Jordan said:

“For me, it was a cry for help. It was a cry for attention, and I’ve obviously learned a lot about myself through lots and lots of therapy. It’s not that that part of you just disappears. It’s not that part of you that just goes away. It’s just deciding that that’s not who you wanna be.”

Jordan opens up about his first wife, sharing details about how his behaviour developed

When Nick asked The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives star if he had a past or a source for his rage, Jordan opened up about his first wife. 

Jordan revealed that he had his first child at 18, blaming a lack of s*x education growing up in Utah, where he claimed discussing intimacy was a taboo. 

He further shared that he had a “shotgun wedding” with the mother of his child, who wanted to “do the whole Mormon route.” However, Jordan could never align with her beliefs, which ultimately resulted in their breakup.

“I remember feeling so upset that I let my daughter down because she would never have like a normal upbringing because her parents aren’t together … I think it created a little bit of a feminine wound, honestly,” he expressed. 

Jordan explained that his “wound” developed after his first wife decided to choose church over him. It ultimately created “a lot of trust issues with women” for Jordan. 

That said, he added that he grew up with brothers and was always “s**t-talking” with one another. Jordan also mentioned that his family is “all very aggressive” in the way they communicate. 

Consequently, he concluded that his ”feminine wound”, combined with his upbringing and feeling abandoned, triggered him and pushed him to lash out at Jessi the way he did. 

Stay tuned for more updates.