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THE VIEW IN REVIEW

Whoopi Goldberg Would Like to Be Excused From The View's Taylor Swift Narrative

Call it "Red (Whoopi's Version)."
  • Suffice it to say Whoopi Goldberg is not a Swiftie. (Photo: ABC)
    Suffice it to say Whoopi Goldberg is not a Swiftie. (Photo: ABC)

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    Did Whoopi Goldberg just become Enemy No. 1 for Swifties everywhere? On Wednesday morning, The View's longtime moderator practically fell out of her chair in her attempt to avoid discussing Taylor Swift's "All Too Well (Taylor's Version)," which is widely believed to be about her relationship with Jake Gyllenhaal. Whoopi brought out her patented Valley Girl voice as she discussed the song, but her attention quickly waned as Sunny Hostin and Sara Haines began offering theories about Swift's "All Too Well" short film. As Swift herself once said, "I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one that I have never asked to be a part of."

    Whoopi has been known to use her Valley Girl voice for certain pop culture topics she finds uninteresting or unimportant (typically, they're The Bachelor or Real Housewives related), but she was in rare form this morning as she introduced the "so important" Hot Topic. "A lot of people think that this is about her past relationship with Jake Gyllenhaal," Whoopi said of Swift's re-released track. "Also there's, like, a big debate over the significance of a red scarf in the video. I mean, what do you think about all of that?"

    As Haines explained the red scarf controversy, Whoopi turned her attention to the film's star, Stranger Things' Sadie Sink. "Who's that girl?" she asked, looking visibly confused. Her co-hosts ignored her and proceeded to debate Jake Gyllenhaal's level of hotness and the possibility that the scarf could represent Swift's virginity, but Whoopi would not be deterred. "Is that her? Whose eyebrows are those?" she asked.

    When no one answered, yet again, Whoopi's interest in the topic took a nose-dive. With Hostin doubling down on her virginity theory across the table — "She also confirms that she was weeping in a party bathroom because that guy did not attend her 21st birthday!" said Hostin — an exasperated Whoopi collapsed on the table, and seconds later, practically crawled under it. "We just lost Whoopi," said Haines. "One down, three to go."

    Whoopi Goldberg slides under the table on The View (Photo: ABC)

    When Whoopi finally recovered, she was back to her old tricks. "Can anyone tell me who that girl was?" she asked, to which Haines finally responded that "it was an actor," and not just a random person. "Why was it an actor when she was like — she could do it," replied Whoopi. "Why isn't Taylor Swift doing it? She doesn't even look like Taylor Swift!"

    After an offhand comment from noted songwriter Joy Behar about Swift's lyrics, the segment finally ended. Hopefully, we'll have a few weeks off before we have to hear Whoopi's Valley Girl voice again.

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    Claire Spellberg Lustig is the TV Editor at Primetimer and a scholar of The View. Follow her on Twitter at @c_spellberg.

    TOPICS: Whoopi Goldberg, ABC, The View, Jake Gyllenhaal, Joy Behar, Sara Haines, Sunny Hostin, Taylor Swift