McCord tells People after she was sexually abused as a child, a friend raped her when she was age 18. She says her yet-to-be-diagnosed Dissociative Identity Disorder, or DID, helped shut down the traumatic memory. That is until she filmed a rape scene for 90210 in which she was attacked by a faculty advisor. "I was like, 'What a great storyline, let's do this,'" she recalls. "We dove in and we did the scene. It didn't trigger anything." But then, filming the aftermath of the rape with co-star Jessica Stroup, "I just broke," says McCord. "My heart, which was made to feel like love was a bad, dangerous thing, was just broken."