Maybe The View should air from the Bahamas year-round? On Tuesday, the daytime talk show delivered nearly an hour of fun with flamingo yoga, Hot Tropics, and an off-the-rails interview with Sherri Shepherd. The former co-host injected new life into The View as she explained why she's been avoiding the ocean and hiding her sex toys — courtesy of The Real Housewife of Atlanta star Kandi Burruss — from her son, Jeffrey.
Shepherd opened her interview on The View by explaining that she's been having a great time "partying" in the Bahamas, the show's home for the week, but she's been staying away from the beach. "You know I can't swim," she said. "I've tried to swim over the years, and I didn't go so well."
As Shepherd spoke, an unbelievable video of her rolling around in shallow water appeared onscreen, cracking up the co-hosts. "I almost, like, drowned!" she recalled.
"It's hard to imagine given the buoyancy that she carries with her," joked Whoopi, as she pointed to Shepherd's breasts.
"These are flotation devices. By my DNA I cannot drown," replied Shepherd. "But the thing that's not cute is when you're in the water and you're flopping around. You're like, 'Oh my god!' And everyone kept going, 'Just stand up. Sherri, just stand up.'"
A few minutes later, Shepherd put her teenage son Jeffrey on blast when she said he's "in his room for hours at a time" doing... whatever teenage boys do. "He might be reading, I don't know," she told the ladies. "All of the men in my life said, 'Just get lotion and put it in his room and back out the door.' I think he's got dry skin."
Shepherd went on to say she's "been celibate for four and a half years," and as a result, she's started taking matters into her own hands.
"I've gotta lock my door because Kandi Burruss, I order toys from Kandi Burruss [who has an intimate bedroom product line] all the time," she explained. "And the problem is as you get older, you get more tired. I fell asleep with one of the toys in my hand. And Jeffrey likes to walk in my room and I woke up — cause kids just stand there and look at you! So I'm laying like, 'What are you doing?!' The thing was still on. So, I want him out."
But Shepherd wasn't done quite yet. The soon-to-be daytime host revealed she met an OB/GYN on a dating app, but it didn't work out because he was so busy delivering babies. However, there's a silver lining: "I get free pap smears and breast exams!" she said. "I tell you, I'm feeling good. Those pap smears will keep you going."
In the episode's final segment, Shepherd joined fellow guests Bowen Yang and Matt Rogers for a game of "Shore Did, Beach, Please!" a Bahamas-ified take on Never Have I Ever. The panel looked on in shock as Sunny Hostin, a self-described "repressed Catholic," revealed she's had sex on the beach, prompting Shepherd to say, "The thought of Sunny at a beach having sex — I know you did say, 'Oh, Jesus!'"
As always, more Sherri Shepherd on The View, please!
Claire Spellberg Lustig is the Senior Editor at Primetimer and a scholar of The View. Follow her on Twitter at @c_spellberg.
TOPICS: Sherri Shepherd, ABC, The View, Bowen Yang, Kandi Burruss, Matt Rogers, Sunny Hostin