Colbert Torches Andrew Cuomo Amid Sexual Harassment Scandal: 'No One's Safe!'

After a two-week hiatus, Stephen Colbert returned to The Late Show on Monday night, and he wasted no time before tackling the biggest story of the month: Gov. Andrew Cuomo's ongoing sexual harassment scandal. Colbert eviscerated Cuomo for repeatedly downplaying the allegations by insisting that he's just "friendly" with everyone he meets, joking, "'I'm not a harasser because I do it to everyone!'"

"It's not just the plague that keeps getting worse. It's also New York Gov. and 'Guy Hearing the News About Andrew Cuomo,' Andrew Cuomo," said Colbert, to massive boos from the audience. The governor has repeatedly denied allegations of sexual harassment, but the late night host said AG Letitia James' report implied he's an equal-opportunity harasser, joking, "He harassed only two types of women: those who work for him, and those who do not."

But it was Cuomo's "I touch everyone" video, that really got Colbert going. "'No one's safe!'" joked The Late Show host. "'Black, white. Straight, gay. Consenting, non-consenting. Those who see it coming, those who are surprised. Sleeping people, people who are awake but wishing this were all a bad dream. I learned it from my folks — it's a family recipe!'"

"Also, kissing people on the cheek is not what he's being accused of," he continued. "That's like Jeffrey Dahmer apologizing for not having a permit to grill!"

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert airs weeknights at 11:35 PM ET on CBS.

Claire Spellberg Lustig is the Senior Editor at Primetimer and a scholar of The View. Follow her on Twitter at @c_spellberg.