"Greetings, class of 2020. We are facing a difficult time," The Simpsons star says in his virtual graduation speech. "But let me tell you this: Because your ceremonies are canceled, I can assure you, you’re missing absolutely nothing. Sitting in the hot sun for three hours, listening to a celebrity you thought was funny but turns out not to be. I’m looking at you, Madeleine Albright. They’re just going to tell you to follow your dreams. Of course they will — they’re a success. They’re the one-in-a-million person for whom following their dreams works. You might as well have a fat, lazy slob give the speech, which is why I’m here today. I’m here to give you the most important thing of all: life advice."