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RHONJ Power Rankings, Week 10.7: "Of Course I'm Gonna Tell You!"

The Giudices and Gorgas struggle with Juicy's latest setback; Danielle struggles with reality.
  • Gia and Teresa Giudice in Real Housewives of New Jersey (Bravo)
    Gia and Teresa Giudice in Real Housewives of New Jersey (Bravo)

    Join us every Thursday morning for Sarah D. Bunting's Real Housewives of New Jersey Power Rankings, wherein she ranks the RHONJ women (and their families) based on the events of last night's episode. Click here to view earlier RHONJ power rankings.

    S10, E07: "The Last Supper"

    Even with Danielle in the mix, "The Last Supper" isn't a terribly eventful episode. It's mostly devoted to various members of Clans Giudice and Gorga processing Joe Giudice's recent loss on appeal...well, to the extent they're allowed to. Teresa remains determined not to tell Milania or Audriana the full extent of the bad news. Then Milania finds out accidentally (offscreen, and while we're only told that "it was not good," I suspect that's a significant understatement), but Teresa learns nothing from that, so on top of thinking her nine-year-old is still a toddler, she's making the rest of the family complicit in keeping the secret. And it doesn't even work!

    Elsewhere, Margaret continues to take Danielle's personality disorder personally; we get a little background on Jennifer and Jackie's families of origin; and the David/Dolores will-he-or-won't-he (propose) arc continues to be an extremely effective sleep aid. But the episode's mostly about Teresa and her family coming to terms with letting go of Juicy, whether it's one way or the other.

    In this Easter episode, who's a chocolate bunny and who's a rotten egg? Your Episode 7 power rankings...

    1. Melissa. All of Team Gorga has a good week: Joe is insightful and sugar-free about Joe's predicament, telling Teresa and Gia that it's probably time to release him from his promise to keep trying because he's breaking down inside, and noting to Melissa the massive expenses incurred in this fruitless pursuit. The little Gorgae, often performatively lippy to their parents thanks to the cameras, behave themselves, and are supportive to their Giudice cousins. And Melissa shows up to Easter with a plate of sprinkle cookies and practically dares Teresa to get annoyed. [Last week: 1]

    2. Jennifer. I'm not 100 on her advice to her daughter Gabi, who's still getting bullied; a who-cares, "someone else'll like you" take is not incorrect, but also IIRC not terribly helpful at that age, when you don't always have the option of shutting out your tormentors. But her attitude towards her brother's sexual orientation when one of her kids asks whether he's gay -- "you like who you like, and that's it!" -- is aces (and he is adorable with Olivia while teaching her piano). [Last week: 2]

    3. Margaret. At least we get an explanation of the detente with Marty, albeit one with more than a whiff of BS, to wit: Danielle "got in [Marty's] head," which is why he acted like a shit to her and Joe; once that relationship ended, they reached out to him out of...concern? I think it's something more like "Margaret now hates Danielle and wants intel from Marty to back her up," and while I, a bad person, find that motivation relatable, I wish Margaret would just cop to it...or, better yet, accept that this angry and fresh a grudge against Danielle is like swearing vengeance on a thunderstorm. It's a noisy event with no interest in human emotions, and getting mad at it is a waste of time. [Last week: 3]

    4. Teresa. I won't sit here and act like I know squat about what kids are developmentally ready for when it comes to bad news, or incorporating an incarcerated partner into co-parenting...I mean, the shit is tough. But not telling Audriana what's going on with her father, at an age-appropriate level, is just bizarre to me. Again, she's nine, not four; one of her parents has been in prison, what, half Audriana's life by now? So that's A. B, if Milania overheard Teresa talking, Audriana's going to (and, it seems, does by episode's end). C, one of her sisters would likely tell her because D, it's cruel not to prepare her for what's coming. Teresa's also weirdly flat and semi-smiley during the phone call from ICE that has everyone else at the table in tears; I think she just doesn't know how to be when other people are emotional, but it shouldn't be Gia who gets up first to deal with a crying Audriana, maybe? But Gia remains a boss, by the way, and her combination of open emotion and matter-of-fact strength as the oldest -- plus Nonno drinking hot sauce straight from the bottle to whip a chest cold; he and my dad should hang out -- cancels out Teresa's weird choices this week, which also include that hideous Hooters-doily thing she's wearing at Easter dinner, and having cocktails with... [Last week: 6]

    5. Dolores. I don't disagree with her assessment of the situation with Joe Giudice, namely that she knows they have to try everything for the kids' sake "but it's like enough already." But note that Joe Gorga says that to his sister; Dolores only says it to Frank. Another mixed blessing is her eye-rolling that Frank is only annoyed that David is late to Easter dinner because she isn't annoyed -- but was when Frank did it. I have no doubt this is true, but because it centers around this dullsville non-story with David, it's hard to care. [Last week: 4]

    6. Jackie. I would suggest a limited-series spin-off about her married-but-not-cohabiting parents and her field trips to Atlantic City with her dad as a teenager...but I thought I wanted a Manzo spin-off too, and those shows were dreadful. And while I respect Jackie using this platform to talk frankly about her eating disorder, I...don't trust this platform to do right by that story. [Last week: 5]

    7. Danielle. What's the expression about sex with crazy people being great? It must be; I don't see how this particular narcissist would be any good at it, but if Marty's willing to forgive (probably false) accusations of abuse and risk his standing in the house deal for a reunion tour, she must be absolutely amazing at the Posturepedic polka. And somehow, Danielle got her new fiancé to cosign to let her buy out her estranged husband, with whom she's still squatting...and sleeping. Margaret's assertion that "she's only around people she can get something from" is right on, but she...does get the somethings, I have to admit. She's still the worst, however. [Last week: 7]

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    Sarah D. Bunting co-founded Television Without Pity, and her work has appeared in Glamour and New York, and on MSNBC, NPR's Monkey See blog, MLB.com, and Yahoo!. Find her at her true-crime newsletter, Best Evidence, and on TV podcasts Extra Hot Great and Again With This.

    TOPICS: The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Danielle Staub, Joe Giudice, Melissa Gorga, Teresa Giudice