WATCH: The Daily Show Eviscerates Ted Cruz in Faux Biography

  • The Daily Show went long on Sen. Ted Cruz Tuesday night in a damning "biography" about the Texas Republican, better known as "the booger on the lip of democracy."

    Narrated by Daily Show correspondent Desi Lydic, the nine-minute biopic recounts the senator's most embarrassing moments, beginning with footage of him appearing to swallow his own booger while speaking during a 2016 GOP primary debate. It then flashes back to his development into "a higher-order lizard" hell-bent on sex and "world domination." As Lydic puts it, "Young Ted Cruz was obsessed with boobs and power, two things he would struggle to get his hands on for the rest of his life."

    From there, the "biopic" moves quickly through Cruz's college years, his marriage to Heidi Cruz, his legal career, his senate campaign, and his failed 2016 presidential run. Of course, there's no shortage of Trump in the bit, either. "Despite having the meticulous planning skills and foresight that's just coincidentally the hallmark of a serial killer, Ted Cruz failed to anticipate Donald Trump," says Lydic, before explaining Cruz's transition from Trump critic to staunch supporter.

    "But these are just bumps on the road to his ultimate goal: world domination," the segment concludes. "To Ted Cruz, the Earth is a mere booger dancing on his lips. Tantalizing, mesmerizing, repulsive, waiting until the day he can swallow us whole and hope that no one saw it."

    The Daily Show with Trevor Noah airs weeknights at 11:00 PM ET on Comedy Central.

    Claire Spellberg Lustig is the TV Editor at Primetimer and a scholar of The View. Follow her on Twitter at @c_spellberg.

    TOPICS: The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, Ted Cruz