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TV Is Fast Approaching Reality Show All-Star Valhalla

Survivor: Winners at War is just the beginning.
  • Jeff Probst isn't the only reality host welcoming previous players back to his show this season. (Photos: VH1, Bravo, CBS)
    Jeff Probst isn't the only reality host welcoming previous players back to his show this season. (Photos: VH1, Bravo, CBS)

    There is nothing quite like a well-executed all-star season of a reality show. When they're cast impeccably, like the original Top Chef all-stars season, the gathering of all your faves in one kitchen can be dizzying. When the reputations and experiences of the returning contestants only deepens the drama and complicates the strategies at play — like in Survivor's epic "Heroes vs. Villains" season — it can add up to some of the best television in these shows' history. And when the best of the best show up to compete, as they did in RuPaul's Drag Race All-Stars 2, the results can be legendary:

    If all of the above resonates with you, then you almost surely know we've already entered the Valhalla* of reality-show all-star seasons, with Survivor: Winners at War debuting two weeks ago, and new all-star installlments of Top Chef and RuPaul's Drag Race soon to follow.

    *In Norse mythology, Valhalla is the great hall in Asgard, ruled over by Odin, and festooned with golden shields and weaponry. It's where the great warriors go to when they die and pass into the afterlife. It is, essentially, a badass Scandanavian heaven conceived as a giant beer hall.

    Top Chef All-Stars: L.A. is set to premiere March 19 on Bravo, and will feature 15 returning contestants, including 11 top-four finishers. That includes former runners-up Gregory Gourdet (season 12), Angelo Sosa (season 7), Lisa Fernandes (season 4), and Bryan Voltaggio and Kevin Gillespie (season 6), third-place finishers Eric Adjepong (season 16) and Joe Sasto (season 15) and fourth-placers Melissa King (season 12) and Bryan Malarky (season 3). Other fan favorites include three-timers Lee Ann Wong and Jennifer Carroll, the latter of whom flamed out spectacularly in Top Chef's first season.

    Looking for a measure of redemption, meanwhile, are three chefs who placed within the top 10 — Jamie Lynch (season 14), Karen Akunowicz (season 13), and Stephanie Cmar (seasons 10/11) — as well as last year's surprise early-exit Nini Nguyen.

    Bryan Voltaggio of course finished second to his brother, Michael Voltaggio, and their rivalry dominated much of the Las Vegas season. Lisa Fernandes might be the most controversial returnee of them all, as her sour attitude and tendency to just barely avoid elimination every week made her the villain of season 4. And if all that wasn't intriguing enough, Gail Simmons is back, joining regular judges Tom Colicchio and Padma Lakshmi, comprising that classic Top Chef panel.

    If the Top Chef all-stars aren't enough, this Survivor season has arrived with perhaps the most momentous all-star premise in reality-TV history. 20 former Survivor winners came back to battle it out for a super-sized $2 million prize and the designation of best of the best. This marks Survivor's 40th season, and while last season was marred by instances of sexual harassment, unwanted touching, and the poor response of Survivor producers to do anything about it, both the show and its fans have been eager for the so-called "Winners at War" season to get things back on track.

    The gathered cast members kicked off the season two Wednesdays ago, featuring the likes of the show's only two-time winner, Sandra Diaz-Twine, as well as married champs Rob and Amber Mariano (Amber has since been sent to the Edge of Extinction, though she could theoretically return to the game). Season 3 champ Ethan Zohn returns on the other side of a battle with cancer. Rob and Sandra both appeared on season 39 as mentors, but they're fully in the game now, with Sandra sporting some hurt feelings that Rob never told her he was coming back to play. Other intriguing cast connections among the winners: Parvati has partnered up with Rob despite their being enemies on "Heroes vs. Villains." And former Cagayan tribe-mates Tony Vlachos and Sarah Lacina have reunited to re-forge their Cops R Us alliance.

    The great thing about a Survivor all-star season is that the narratives are so plentiful. You wouldn't think an all-winners season could produce underdogs, but this is an alumni group (as well as a fan-base) that is constantly re-evaluating, ranking, and re-ranking its history. Perceived "weak" winners like Koh-Rong's Michelle Fitzgerald and Guatemala's Danni Boatwright had a lot to prove, and already Danni has flamed out. Notorious manipulators like Parvati, Adam Klein, and Sophie Clarke will have to prove their trustworthiness. Nobody's history is secret this year.

    Somehow, RuPaul's Drag Race might have the least wild and crazy all-stars lineup of the three. Part of that might have to do with the fact that it's the show's 5th all-star season (they have to start incorporating the UK queens next season, right??). But take a look at the (heavily rumored) cast of 10 queens for the new season and tell me you're not all in. The cast divides pretty neatly between old-school queens (seasons 1-3) and new-school queens (seasons 8-10). Representing the vintage queens: season 3 queens Alexis Mateo, India Ferrah, and Mariah Balenciaga, season 2 fan favorite Jujubee, and — in a development many have been waiting for since the first all-stars season — season 1's Ongina. The new girls are represented by season 9 regular-season champ Shea Coulee (before she was bested in the playoffs by Sasha Velour's rose petals), the season 10 trio of Miz Cracker, Mayhem Miller, and Blair St. Clair, and season 8's Britney bitch, Derrick Barry.

    That's a ten-spot that promises some big-time contenders (beware anyone standing in the way of a Shea Coulee/Jujubee final two), some breakthrough narrative potential (both Miz Cracker and Ongina have serious inner saboteurs just waiting to be defeated), at least one major glow-up in Blair St. Clair, and a ready-made villain in Derrick Barry. Watch out for Mariah, though. The children who are newer to the show might not remember her early exit in season 3, but she does ballroom glamour better than just about anyone, and she gives great talking head.

    With Survivor running through May, Drag Race picking up June 5th (on Showtime, of all places), and Top Chef bridging the gap between them, we're in store for elite-level all-star competitions through the middle of summer. All-star clashes in the three major cultural fields: food, drag, and social manipulation. In all your years, did you ever imagine you'd be blessed with such excess in the reality television department?

    Joe Reid is the senior writer at Primetimer and co-host of the This Had Oscar Buzz podcast. His work has appeared in Decider, NPR, HuffPost, The Atlantic, Slate, Polygon, Vanity Fair, Vulture, The A.V. Club and more.

    TOPICS: Reality TV, RuPaul’s Drag Race: All Stars, Survivor, Top Chef